What are you afraid of?
What are your fears?
For some they don't want to face them, they don't want to talk about them, they don't want to think about them.
For some, fear is a haunting feeling in the pit of our stomach, that is to be avoided at all costs.
I have been there.
There is a different way to look at fear. You can become friends with fear and see that when you become fearful, it's a gift. It's your body telling you that something is up.
Fear is pointing to something in us that needs healing.
Fear is good. It does keep us alive, but in our modern age it's pretty rare to find ourselves being chased by a lion or a tiger or bear... oh my....
But we have modern lions, tigers, and bears....
These modern animals can manifest themselves in social fear, work pressure, a fear of staying true to who we are, to taking a stand against injustice. Fear looks different for everyone but it usually points to a place in our life that needs healing or a universal wound in our world.
A simple example... I used to get really fearful when I would go to networking events, parties, shows, where I would have to meet new people, or even be praised for my work with the band that was performing.
What was I scared of? Why was I so fearful of these situations?
If I am honest, it comes from a past hurt, a hurt of wanting to be accepted and viewed as cool. Superficial I know, but it points to a core need, a core value of wanting to be accepted but also not needing anyone to take care of me. I never want to be an inconvenience to anyone.
This is how I used to be.
I've learned over the years after much self work and healing, that I no longer need to be defined by my work. That I can let people take care of me, and that in those situations, I am just a human, flawed, who has desires like everyone else. I was putting too much of my identity in my work and desire to be heard and known which I have talked about before. Maybe you can relate?
Another simple example, for years I didn't want to ever face the realities of life. The reality that death will happen to all of us, that we are spinning in space, that we are not in control. To say this out loud is one thing but to become a person who accepts this is a different story. It was a huge fear for most my life. I had never faced it, I had never stoped to think.... How interesting? Why does this cause so much fear and anxiety in my life? I never sat with it.
The answer, it poked and probed at my spiritual and religious beliefs. The things that were preached to me, taught to me, and engraved into me for the first twenty one years of my life.... that kept me safe and helped me have a grasp on how the Universe may work, never fully satisfied me.
My big questions on life, death, and beyond never got answered. They got ignored, they got dismissed as a lack of faith and commitment.
And I get it.... the big questions of life are hard, but I had to figure it out and at least have a conversation with it...
What I figured out was that I am not in control and there are not answers to everything. My fear was that everything I once believed may not be true. Once again, to say this is one thing, to accept it is another. I spent the last few years being a person who faced my fear that no one really knows what happens after we pass. No one really understands how we got here and that's ok. This doesn't mean we have to abandon beliefs, spirituality or science or the pursuit of figuring those things out, but for most people I interact with they are paralyzed with this fear of death and what's beyond.
Most will never face it and because of that they will try to control everything and those in their life. They will cling to anything that may solve these unknowns or fear to the extent of believing false truths in order to not face the fear.
So what is your fear in life? What are you scared of? What is it pointing to? Is it a past hurt? Would it be worth facing it if you could become whole?
You don't have to do it alone.
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