Whatever you’re searching for you already have. Whatever you’re striving to achieve, thinking it will fulfill yourself you already have. Whatever you’re fighting for, longing for, you already have it.
Over the last few years I have learned that achievements, money, success, being known by random people is not the answer to fulfillment in life. This isn’t new information and there are those that say it much more eloquently then that, but I have to testify, much like the history of mankind that.....
everything I search for, long for, and desire is really just my ego and pride crying out for healing in some area.
This is interesting.
St. Francis of Assisi wrote that “The one you are looking for is the one who is looking”.
Now I know it’s easy to dismiss things like this as introspective, new age, existential, fluff - for some it may make their head hurt to even try and think about such things. I get it. It’s easy to view such a statement as fluff, not reality, not normal, but there is truth in it.
I view that statement as everything I am striving for and going after I already have.
The one I am looking for, be it accomplishments, fame, money, success, being known in the music world, these things and ideas that I feel like may make me eventually “enough” or content or valued are things that in reality won’t do that.
The only thing that will make me feel like I am enough is by seeing that I already am enough.
The fulfillment and peace in life we long for, everyone already has. It’s a mindset, a shift, a view point. The job we work that we hope will bring stability and peace will not at the end of the day. All the social media striving, career pushing, networking, and accomplishments are things that can get in the way between you and your healing and fulfillment.
For me, music for a long time was driven by the need to be seen and heard. The need to be known and respected. The need to be right and superior. This was just a cry of a child who felt often different or was told by friends that I was musical or unique.
Growing up being told you’re different doesn’t always seem like a blessing. I remember distinctly never really loving sports as much as I did music. I remember distinctly early on knowing that art, music, design, and video were things I gravitated towards easier then cartoons or superheroes.
But all of that has a cost as a child and as a teenager.
For me the cost was kind of always feeling out of place, not heard, not seen, and viewed as someone who was kind of just floating in the wind. This can create some unresolved hurt in the ego and self. That hurt for me became the driving force for music when I started. I thought that if I could become this “rock star” complex then people would finally accept me and that I would be enough. That once people knew my name that it would be enough to make me feel heard and truly seen.
All of those things left me empty as I began to accomplish them. I am so grateful for those experiences and what I have accomplished and the truth thus far is, I did work really hard to get to where I am. I don’t want this to sound like doom and gloom and woe is me, but having reflection time over the last couple years to see where I have been and where I want to go has allowed me to create some space to see what is driving me.
Maybe you can relate?
Maybe you feel lost, unsure, tired, unseen, like you're just kind of hoping to make it each day.
That when you wake up you kind of just do the motions. Maybe you wonder, what’s the point? Maybe you feel like everything you have been told to do has just left you still feeling lost and maybe now even more defeated.
The hope and encouragement I can offer you is that everything you have been told that will fulfill you and make you happy probably wont. This is good because we already all have a beautiful mind that is capable of being at peace even when we have nothing in life. When we begin to have open hands towards our life, career, and possessions, then we begin to see a bigger more clear picture. We begin to see that all those things are not who we are.
That everything we are trying to do to prove our worth for ourselves or friends and family is really just a cry out from past or current hurt.
Who you are is enough.
Everything you may be trying to do to create your identity of who you are is just going to let you down overtime. I have been there. This year I am really working hard on trying to just see that who I am is exactly who I need to be. The more I acknowledge who I am and my desires as a person the more I find peace and contentment.
The interesting thing within this is it renews your view of work and what your striving for. It renews it in a way that makes the daily seem playful and fun. The pressure of work is no longer there most days. The pressure of networking and trying to impress begins to vanish and you find yourself more happy, more true, more energized, and you start to see that everything you thought you needed to do to be enough you already had. It was just being blocked by all of our striving and struggle to look a certain way.
So the challenge is to fight to be you.
To have the courage to be yourself and share with the world the true you. That we are all people who have hurt and desires and we wish to be seen and heard. From that, do you trust yourself to then create the art in your life to share with others or will you continually try to trace or use a stencil of someone else in order to fit it, to not rock the boat, and to look like everyone else.
I have said it before and will continue to say it. We need you to be you. We need your view point, your art, your thoughts, your story. We need your wisdom on how you solved problems and overcame situations. We need it. We don’t need you to be a clone of someone else, a friend, or a family member.
We just need you to trust that who you are is enough and that who you are is freaking incredible.
Please share with the world what you have inside, we desperately need it.
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