Not For Me

I recently had a project come my way from a past client that I have worked with for years. Every few months he sends me something and I have always done it, except for this time. He emailed me and said he was sending files and we did our normal exchange. Then the next day, I told my wife...

"This is not for me, I need to give this to someone else."

It was strange. I had an out of body experience watching myself pass up work I had traditionally love to do... but something in me leaped up and told me to give it to someone else. Please keep in mind that this work is fun, easy, it paid fine, and who doesn't need work that pays well, but for some reason I heard something from inside say, "this is not for me". 

I called a buddy up and asked if he would be interested in the project. I felt like I was drawn to give it to him, after all, each project is a gift in general but sometimes we are just the middle man to deliver the gift to someone else. 

He said he would love to do it and so I went over to his studio and dropped off the files, gave him the run down and let him have at it. A week or so later it got turned back in and everything went well. He got paid. It felt good. It felt correct.

I thought nothing of it other then peace that it wasn’t for me.

 A couple days later, he sent me a text, thanking me for the project as well as the following, 

"Just wanted to let you know that apparently I desperately needed new tires on my car (one was about to blow) and the total for new tires is gonna be $XXX of money haha. I say this because, I hadn't planned on having to buy new tires but I also hadn't planned on having the extra work ......"

The amount he got paid was the exact amount for the tires. No Joke.  

I pretty much cried... I was so happy, overwhelmed, I ran to tell my wife about it.. and gave the universe a high five. Let it soak in. The exact amount he needed he got. I don't care what you believe in but this is something. 

During that time of me giving up that project, I had two other projects come my way out of the blue that were exactly what I had been feeling like I wanted to do.

I have wanted to get back into rap, be it producing or mixing or mastering. I got my start in rap music back in Chicago. At the start of the year I felt a voice inside say, "Rap, is for you, there is something more for you with rap". I had coffee with a good friend, who is older, wiser then me. He asked me what I wanted to do this year. I told him about rap, he said, "do it".

Such simple clarity. Wisdom is often so clear and straightforward that we dismiss it.

We ignore it and let someone else tell us our path, our story, we let them tell us about things that are not for us, because we are unwilling to trust ourselves. "DO IT!" That's all I needed to hear. I didn't need to hear, how it was going to happen or when, just two words, "do it!". 

Rap is for me.  

Since the start of the year, I have worked on five rap projects. I am currently working on a full length with an artist, and things keep coming my way with rap stuff. I have literally done next to nothing to let people know this is what I want to do, but the universe keeps bringing it to me.

Last year it wasn't for me, this year it is for me, it's easy. 

So many lessons in this. 

If I could summarize it, it's that we all have a path and seasons. Somethings are for us and somethings are not for us. Timing is everything and we need to spend more time in silence listening to ourselves. We are amazing people, full of discernment, intuition and desires. So often we are bombarded by others to do things we don't want to do, we are so forceful in trying to make things happen when in reality if we just listen to ourselves we always know what we are to do and not do. 

I can look back on my life and clearly point out when I was doing life giving things. I can clearly see things that were for me and things I took on that were not for me. When we force things, we find ourselves in constant friction. It's usually difficult. It often leaves us feeling unfulfilled and unsatisfied. 

We are told to take everything, to gather, to keep, to hold tight onto everything that comes our way. In the music industry people always talk about how there is no money and any work that pays is good work. I strongly disagree. Money will not make you happy, trust me. Having a hit song will not make you happy. Being booked up with work that is not for you will make you want to give up and go sell real estate instead. 

We need to take time to listen to ourselves, to trust ourselves, and the universe around us. If we are true to what we really feel like we are suppose to do then it will be brought to us. If I look at my life, it's been provided for in ways I never could have predicted. Everything I planned out has pretty much not happened and I am so grateful. 

One main thing I have learned over the last few years, is that when you say yes to something it means saying no to something else. If I would have took that project that I gave away I wouldn't of had time to take on the rap projects. If I would have said yes to safe, easy, and ignored myself, I would have been giving up on something life giving. 

Trust yourself, you are enough, and you have a path. Ask yourself...

Is this for me? 


Start taking on the things that you're wired to do. Give things that are not for you to someone else. Be a blessing.  



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