Bridges

Burning a bridge in the music industry is one of the most regrettable things you can do. 

Bridges get damaged over time. Very rarely does a bridge collapse suddenly. If it does, then something has been neglected over time. 

Most bridges catch on fire because of a miscommunication. These miscommunication's often get taken as disrespect or as a personal attack. There can be lots of build up to a bridge being burnt. When people are not honest about what's going on and how they are feeling about a project, that can become fuel for the fire. 

I have burnt a couple bridges in my life. They are now repaired. That's the good thing about bridges. You can rebuild overtime if both parties are interested in moving forward for the greater good of music and life. 

In order to save a bridge from burning, you have to be willing to see both sides. You have to look at whats being said and ask yourself, if there's any ounce of truth in what's being brought up. 

That's a good place to start. Look at the situation and see if you're actually at fault on some level. Most the time there's some truth in what is being said. If you're able to put down your can of gas, matches, and step off the bridge for one minute of clarity, you can normally see how to fix the bridge. 

In my experience a bridge is burnt over someone not feeling valued or compensated enough for the work they have done. Maybe a producer agrees to a certain rate and then the project changes and shifts. Nothing is said, then one day the artist makes a small request for "one more change" and the producer loses it. The producer has been harnessing all sorts of resentment towards the artist because they feel undervalued. The producer is probably having thoughts like "they have no idea how much I have done extra for them" or "they are lucky they even have me" or "this songs terrible anyway nothings going to save it".

These are things people think because I am often the one who hears them from people I help and mentor. I am a safe place for them. They can say those things to me and then get perspective on the situations. It's important that you have a system in place to deal with your bridge when it gets damage.

All bridges will have to endure storms and hardship overtime. Even the most healthy relationships have snags and hang ups. This is normal. What's important is how you will handle it. 

When a bridge is fully burnt there is a ripple effect. People on both sides are now stuck. They're stuck and they have to choose sides essentially. When a bridge is out it creates isolation and impacts more then just the current relationship. It will impact everyone who knows you or that person. 

If you're ever in a situation where a person continues to burn the bridge, the best thing you can do is keep it quiet. Everything in us as humans wants to get revenge. We want to find a way to shoot a missile over the gap that was made and destroy the other person. This is counter productive. This is the myth of redemptive violence or revenge. 

Trying to retaliate on that person will not free you from what has been done. It will make you grow an ego and continue to dwell on thoughts that fuel your fire and your right to cause the other person pain. When we get to this point we are often very blind to what we may have did. This is why it's so important to have a person or a plan ready for what you will do when a bridge starts to decay. 

One of the ways I can tell when a bridge is ready for repair is if I can honestly start to wish that person well again. As soon as I don't loath them everytime I hear their name, I know the healing has begun and there is hope for a rebuild. I am a human and I get hurt. My natural response to things is defensive. It's hardwired into us but we can learn how to tame it and respond in a much less barbaric way. 

There's always hope for restoring an out bridge. I know because I have watched people do it time and time again. There are some bridges that I know of that have been out for years and years but every so often that person drives up to the edge of the gap and glances to the other side. Maybe you have been there. Maybe you are there. That glance can start to build back the bridge. 

I want to encourage you, whoever you feel like has wronged you in the industry, take a few steps back and see what they are actually saying. Ask them if they are "ok". Ask them what you can do to help the situation. Take an honest look at where you may be at fault. It doesn't matter if all the evidence is stacked against the other person. All that matters is what is actually happening in the situation. 

Go repair some bridges so you can keep going on adventures and discovering new things about yourself and this beautiful world we live in.